P-ILLS

Her body lay limp across the muebles. Her black curly hair flattened against the unyielding vinyl covers. Across the glass coffee table surface were a variety of pill bottles. Some of the vials were strewn across the table. The transparent orange hue etched into my young impressionable mind before the contents could be comprehended. My mother chose never to discuss what happened to my aunt Wanda.

This image is stuck in my mind.

Unconsciously, I equated the use of pills with the death of love.

At each juncture, I would opt to not take medications.

I would

spilled

Pills

Orange

Still

Loved one

Dentist

Wisdom teeth

Pain

Being in so much pain and not taking any medications.

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I Wonder (Promised)

I told her that I wrote a piece with her in mind. After piquing her interest, I told her that I hoped she never heard it…
I wonder when he walked in the room if she her held breath
He was so predictable that she probably foresaw every single step
She deserved spontaneity and inspiration
But he could only provide the mondane and suffocation of her beauty
As fine as the grains of sand, she slipped through his fingers with every grasp
Alas he had experienced her body, but her mind and soul he could never have
You see, he was everything she thought she wanted and never needed
He could provide her with security and the promise of tomorrow she repeated
to herself
He was there
He was safe
So when he got down on one knee and professed his love with a smile on his face
Moisture rolled down her cheeks in a race
Her tears were not of joy and excitement but of pain and sorrow
The noose slid around her ring finger and her life became borrowed
Her inner self had died and given way to a facade that she had long decided to maintain
A piece of her wanted me in his place to remain by her side but the look on her eyes had changed
At first, she wanted me
To carve her fairness into a fresh marble stone on the daily
To capture her allure with digital ink while her soul screamed save me
To think
If only she had told me straight up, I would have been by her side in a blink
So when I peered into her soul, I could see that she was trapped and promised
And to be honest
Sometimes
I wonder…

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My Presidential Vote And Why

Time To Deport Romney Back to Detroit

Time To Deport Romney Back to Detroit

Obama has a horrendous record on Immigration. He did a piss poor job of passing Universal Healthcare and only got the Affordable Healthcare Act through Democratic crude brunt force.

Nonetheless, the most important issues to me: Healthcare, Education and Research. All of these issues directly impact the Economy. Saying you want a strong economy without a plan to address the issue that is contributing to >15% of our GDP (Healthcare), without talking about building infrastructure (Education) and without talking about increasing funding for America’s next innovation (Research) is an empty promise. Taxes and the military will play little to no part in improving the economic and day-to-day circumstances of the average person in contrast to these 3 factors.
On those factors, Obama has a stronger record.
Mitt Romeny wants to remove Obamacare which follows the exact same model that he built in Massachusetts. This is hypocritical and irresponsible in my eyes. Romney would do so under the guise of a so-called support for each state to handle the matter on its own as if this new political will will arise out of thin air to overcome the lobbyists. To remove coverage for so many young Americans, aging Americans and those with pre-existing conditions is criminal, imho. Moreover, Healthcare is a RIGHT. Everyone should have access irrespective of your paperwork or what you can afford. While Obama fell short of the goal that I individually want, more people will be covered and we cannot afford to have millions of Americans continually left uninsured. Next, research is the key to keeping America at the cutting edge and ensuring that jobs stay in America for the middle class and beyond. We are the epicenter for innovation because we outspend other nations but that course was reversed under the Bush years. The NIH and other research arms were forced to take cuts when we started to fund unnecessary wars. We need to redouble our efforts to improve efforts in stem cell research, nanotechnology and vaccines. These research initiatives will yield benefits for every American and for our military.
As far as Massachusetts being #1 in 4th and 8th grade performance on standardized exams, I contest the notion that this means the kids will necessarily have brighter futures. I was in Massachusetts under Gov Romney. First of, I could not stand the largest economic waste under his purview, the Big Dig. It was one of the most bloated government projects ever. Granted he chastised the person who led it, but it transpired under his supervision. Moreover, I volunteered time in local schools in Cambridge, MA to tutor Elementary school students as an undergraduate. I saw firsthand how educators were forgoing the educational process to specifically teach what was on the exam. Teachers would literally stop the lessons of the day to bust out their books to do practice problems and to help students memorize how to take the test at the beginning of the academic year, because the school funding depended on the performance. I do think we need to prevent teachers unions from having such a stronghold over our schools and preventing us from firing bad teachers who have been in the system for decades. But the reality is that principals and the administrations of schools are often the biggest culprits of inequity and waste.
So who am I voting for? Begrudgingly, Obama. I can’t risk having Romney, the “ditto-master”, put into power when he has never given me a concrete example of how he would have been more effective employing the same exact tactics. We know that Romney is a worse statesman and we know that he has made various threats of war. None of that engenders anything positive from me.
Finally, this next presidency will likely have the ability to pick at least one justice which has dramatic implications for Women’s Right To Choice and Diversity policies across the country. These last two points reinforce in my mind that a Green Party vote could empower someone who could dramatically turn back the clock on this nation.

With that said, I am going to burn Obama if there is no Dream Act equivalent passed. I am going to chastise and belittle him if we don’t increase funding for education and stop Principals from ruining schools and bad teachers from breaking the system. And I am also going to label him as the biggest tyrant if he doesn’t block state practices which impinge on civil liberties like stop-and-frisk in NYC. Then and only then, can we move forward.

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How To Fix ViewSonic PJ458D DLP Projector Issue

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert or licensed professional. I am simply an intelligent person with the ability to read and use the web. If this works for you, great. If not, I’m sorry. Keep reading and try to figure out your problem!

Issue at hand: Orange Power light and Green flashing power light. The machine turns out and as it is illuminating the Viewsonic logo, it immediately powers down and begins to flash an orange light.

With the casing removed, you can see only one fan is functional when it is powered

Solution: open it up and replace the broken fan(s).

How?

Well, I read a post on Fixya.com where a user ever so cavalierly posted that he replaced the fan and it resolved his issue. I thought ‘thanks a–hole for not sharing how you did it’. Having read that, I decided it was time to put some elbow grease into this problem to resolve this issue. So here is what I did.

There are 4 screws underneath near the front bottom that need to be removed. The first two will allow you to pop off the front panel over the fans and lens (See Above image). The other two allow you to wedge the top panel upward to create enough space to open the device and remove either fan.

Carefully remove the fans

Once you pop off the front panel, a small plastic semi circle piece over the front of the lens may come loose. Simply keep tabs on it and put it back at the end.

Plug it back in with the casing removed so you can see if one or both fans need to be replaced. WARNING: You are doing this at your own risk. Don’t touch anything other than the power button. When it turns on, look at whether the fans both spin. If they don’t it doesn’t work. If it does, then it works. Then press the power button to turn it off.

This is the 3 pin connector for the fan. Pull it out using Tweezers.

Once you turn it off, wait for everything to power off COMPLETELY before proceeding. Seriously, don’t be a idiot and use all safety precautions (and common sense) at all times.

Just as it says.

Remove The Lightbulb

At this point, it is optional but I recommend that you remove the light bulb and keep it safely stashed during this process. You will do a bunch of manipulations on the device and you want to make certain to avoid damaging it.

The fans will not come out completely so do not tug rigorously on the rubber casing. You need to slide the rubber holder off of each fan. Even if you want to fix one, start with the left one and remove that first. Be careful when pulling the fans out. There is an LED light and small circuit board above the fans that you can easily damage. Just be careful pulling off the rubber and it shouldn’t be an issue. If you yank or try to pull aggressively, then you will have a problem.

How to connect the cables

Once the rubber casing is off, use tweezers to remove the tape over the cable corresponding to the fan without destroying it so you can reuse the tape.

Once the tape is off, detach the respective 3 pin cable inserted into the board by giving a gentle tug on the cable using the tweezers. Once you remove the fan, replace it with the new one.

I went to my local store and purchased one for $10.95. It was 60 mm x 60 mm x 25 mm (depth) 3pin 5000 rpm model. Not sure what the necessary rpms for it is, but I suppose 5000 is bare minimum since it works for me. Anything less and it may or may not work. I chose 5000 rpm because it was the ONLY one they had. Obviously you can buy one online for $2, but shipping will get you. Unless you have all the time in the world, this is the simplest thing to do. Otherwise, you can always try to jack it from another source (ie computer, friend, etc).

One quick note, make sure to have black electrical tubing placed over the cable as was done on the original fan. You may want to try to get some tubing to place over the cable as was done for the fan you purchased. This black tubing is essential to ensuring it doesn’t heat up, burn a hole through the cable and cause a bigger problem (ie burn cables, start fire, etc). Place the original tape back over the cable to try to keep the cable firmly in place where the original fan cable was.

New Fan

The new fan installed

After it is back in, place the rubber casing back on and place all the casings back. Screw all the screws back in and you should be done.

Here is a final pic of my device with the new fan in place and fully functional.

Feel free to send me comments.

The final product

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CUCPJ Report

DOWNLOAD REPORT: http://www.TheShow1045.com/CUCPJ/2012UrbanaIDOTReportbyCUCPJ.pdf

The link above is to a PDF to a document produced by the Champaign-Urbana Citizens for Peace & Justice. I take zero (0) credit for producing this document. This was all their hard work.

From my vantage, these are simply facts. Facts which illustrate that we have a problem and that we have had one for a long time. It is not meant to finger point. We need solutions on how to fix things. Unfortunately, some never broach the topic until they have the hard data in spite of the suffering implicit in the eyes and souls of community members. Well, here you go.

This is the percentage of African American Drivers involved in a traffic stop.

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Faded Scars

tomorrow’s love forsaken for today’s lust
sometimes i sit back and wonder what happened to us
distance
time
no two wounds heal the same
some times it takes a fresh wound to forget about an old lesion
so i passed her a knife
and asked her to cut me
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Dear Mr President — QUIT RESISTING

Unbelievable! These border patrol agents need to be arrested and put on trial. He died of a heart attack… I wonder why. Being shot with 1000 Volts of electricity just couldn’t have been involved in this. Nah…

Under the Obama administration, there have been more deportations and more examples of egregious actions against Latinos in the US from citizens and law enforcement than under Bush. Unacceptable. Obama’s 2nd term (guaranteed by virtue of the Republican hate for “Others”, a category which the Mormon Romney falls into) will be one in which access to citizenship, education and health care must be determined. If we don’t get reconciliation for these issues, then Democrats say bye-bye to the Latino vote. We will be deciding elections from here on out so I would advise everyone to start acting accordingly and stop being blatantly racist & disrespectful.

US Border Patrol Taser and Beat Handcuffed Undocument Citizen To Death

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Arresting Kindergartner

When did it become an acceptable practice to handcuff a Kindergartner? Does anyone think that a 6 year old throwing a tantrum poses a threat? Far be it from me to suggest that this is just another clear example of America acclimating a young Black scholar to the prison industrial system. No… No… Nothing out of the ordinary to be seen here.


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Reponse to CNN Opinion Article (It’s time for ‘equal’ to mean equal)

Seal of the Supreme Court of the United States

The following is a comment that I wrote in response to a lettter by Jennifer Gratz on CNN.com. I am not sure if my words will ever be made public so here is the comment in its entirety.

Article: http://inamerica.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/10/opinion-its-time-for-equal-to-mean-equal/

Madam, I am appalled at your words much less your privileged and bias. Your actions in pursuing this legal course in 2003 has negatively impacted our country and has sent us back to pre-1968 days in terms of access to education for Black & Brown scholars across this country. What you fail to realize is that racial, religious and class preference is a critical underpinning of the admissions process. The reason that applications require you to have letters of recommendations and to know what organizations you served is the direct result of Harvard President Lawrence A Lowell’s efforts to limit the number of Jews that were entering the freshmen class in the early 1920s/1930s. Tired of these “Undesirables”, as he called them, he concocted a scheme that would appease the Harvard Board of Overseers and accomplish his mission. When students submitted letters from Rabbis or indicated that they were part of Hillel, it became a mechanism to tease them out of the pile. You see, we have always had an unstated White quota in the American educational system and you fail to recognize that because America has always had difficulty accepting that it can’t maintain White Hegemony in education and has utilized other subversive tactics to ensure the outcome such as your court case.

And for the record, I would be all in favor of having 1 exam without any letters of recommendation, activities or any other info being required. But you know what? White people and people with money and power in this country would never permit that, because they would be scared that their children might not get in to their alma mater or school of choice without the advantage that comes with being Privileged in this country. Think about it. One test. No letters of Rec or essays. Until what you ask for is equitable, how do you have the gall to say that limiting access for Brown and Black scholars is equitable because you did not get in to your dream school? I’m shaking my head in disgust.

And while Affirmative Action has sought to counterbalance the inherent racism and bias in the institutions of Higher Education within our Great Country, studies have shown that Affirmative Action has actually helped White Woman (yes you) more than it has Black Males or Black Women. This is why Affirmative Action is the basement where the conversation begins and why we continue to have disparities.

Moreover, has there even been a Congressional Bi-partisan study to assess the effects of Slavery, Racism and Discrimination in this country? If we were then to take that number and assess how much money America has spent of remedying the issues which it created, then we would see that we have not even begun to scratch the surface on addressing this issue. Why else do you think that we have a disparity in wealth amongst Black/Brown families and White families that is almost $100,000 on average? And while they are many hard working Americans that span the spectrum of color, this gap is a direct result of our History of Oppression and Abuse.

Unless you win the embryological lottery and are born into a family and community where you have access to education, the odds of you simply having a chance at being an Engineer, Lawyer or Doctor are minute. You can be a 4.0 student in HS and be in every activity possible at your HS, but unless you have access to an AP course (which everyone knows is sparing in poor communities which just happen to be predominantly where all the Black and Brown people live), then your odds of having access to a career in a STEM field is near impossible unless you get into a “Gifted” program.

Ultimately, I actually have to Thank You for your ignorance. You do not realize that you have single-handedly raised the consciousness of a generation of Scholars who see your actions as repugnant. You have reminded us that there is still much work to be done and we are ready to roll up our sleeves and move the conversation forward (and not backwards as you have done). And to be frank, I would be more than happy to have this discourse with you over the radio or on TV along with anyone else who thinks that they have the gumption to share space with my 5 foot nothing self.

You are an intelligent woman and you chose not to pursue a career in medicine of your own volition so do us all a favor and stop whining. Lastly, as soon as you give up your White Privilege along with everyone else in this country, then I will be the first to call for Affirmative Action to end.

In Dismay,
Raymond Morales

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Holidaze

To be successful and have your family in pain is a difficult pill to swallow. If you know any of the circumstances engulfing my mind, it might be easier for you to understand the internal conflicts which I daily face. As the new year came and went, I reflected on this seemingly perpetual tumult. Another year of personal success while my spiritual being and familial circumstances lay in virtual ruin. In all honesty, the stark contrast has made my personal ambitions seem pointless at times. I have stood idle in various moments and allowed closeminded individuals to regurgitate vitriolic messages which they did not even have the decency to create themselves. I would sit idle amidst chaos and confusion not knowing which way I would turn, because I forgot that I had control over my life and the outcomes.

In the past 45 days alone, I went from seeing multiple family members in/out of the hospital and jail while I was in life and death circumstances. I ended the year warring with people I love so dearly and rediscovered love for those that I had not seen in ages, decades in some instances. I put my career in jeopardy by putting the Medical School on notice just to try to make a small dent into the ignorance that pervardes at the University of Illinois.

Now juxtapose that to the following 45 days where I will be on a rollercoaster touring cities schmoozing with big wigs across the nation and the picture becomes clearer. I will travel to Boston to give a couple speeches up at Harvard Medical School from Feb 3-5 for the largest national Latino medical student conference in the country with a Presidential Medal Of Freedom Recipient and fly to Miami two weeks later to preside over a meeting where a former President of Ecuador will be a keynote. Crazy, right? It is 100% true.

To any one looking from the outside in, it may appear that I am an ascending star shining bright for all to see. Inside, I felt like a comet on a collision course. In the end, I realize that my outlook – although merited – was imposing a fatalistic predestined effect on my trajectory. It was bearing down on me and impinging on my ability to see all the beautiful people and wonderful opportunities before me.

I can’t promise to be a perfect person or the perfect role model. That would be super phony. I can simply be committed to be the best at what I do and to rediscover my love for life and art. Hopefully you find inspiration in that. If not, then I hope that you help me to get better. If I fail, at least I am trying which is more than I can say for a lot of people.

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